For those of you not in the know, I live in Tennessee. And, except for a brief stint in northern Mississippi, I have lived here my entire life. Today we’re going to talk about some stereotypical Southern things. Or rather reason why my official Southerner status might be revoked.
1. People from Tennessee don’t wear shoes. Seriously. People actually think we don’t wear shoes. I love shoes. LOVE. Unfortunately, due to an old injury I can’t wear most heels. Long story short, I have a screw holding parts of my left heel bone together. But, really, I love shoes. I’m wearing a pair right now.
2. Southerners don’t have any teeth. The only teeth that are missing from my mouth are my wisdom teeth. And good riddance, too. My teeth are in great shape, and since I’ve never been a coffee drinker, they’re still relatively white. I do have two fillings, but that only happened in that last year. Seriously, how many people do you know that make it to almost 30 without any fillings?
3. Southerners are uneducated and/or dumb. Hardly. Sure, every place has its village idiot, but in general we’re not as dumb as the media makes us out to be. A good Southern drawl doesn’t make you a dumbass.
4. Everything we eat is fried. Sure, fried pickles are a Southern delicacy, but truth be told I rarely eat fried foods. I’ve never even made fried chicken. Oh, the horror!
5. We all live in trailers. Ok, confession time: my great grandparents lived in a trailer. But, it was in Oklahoma (which is not really in the South) and they had a tornado shelter. And while I have been in a very nice double-wide, I have never lived in a trailer. I have lived in some pretty shitty apartments though.
6. We have just as many shotguns as we have dogs. My house will always be a dog free house. And while my view on guns has evolved over time, we currently do not own any shotguns.
7. Grits. No. Not going to happen. I got a mouthful of sand once while vacationing on the Gulf Coast, and that’s pretty much what I imagine grits to be like. Nothing anyone says or does will ever change that.
8. All Southerners are Southern Baptists. Ha! I’m not even a Christian. There are a significant number of Southern Baptists in the South, as well as COGIC (Church of God in Christ). Memphis in particular has a large Catholic population, as well as Jewish.
9. All Southerners are extremely conservative. Some Southerners are, no doubt. I’m very liberal. Some of my friends are liberal, and some extremely conservative. Some of them are somewhere in between. Southerners come in all flavors! Though I don’t recommend doing a taste test…
10. All Southerners are polite and respectful. Oh… Bless your heart.